Daryl Strawberry Admits to Getting Laid in Between Innings

Bleacher Report: Former MLB outfielder Darryl Strawberry stated Thursday he used to pick women out of the crowd and have sex with them in the clubhouse in between innings.

“Between innings. It worked out well, just how crazy it was,” Strawberry said. “It kind of worked out that way. You point [a woman] out and tell the kid [to go get her].”

Strawberry also discussed “drinking in the clubhouse and smoking cigarettes in the dugout,” according to Yahoo Sports.

As if Daryl wasn’t already a complete stud. You know you’re the man when you can plow out a fan in the clubhouse in between innings on the regular. I really wonder how this was even remotely possible. Just imagine Cespedes or Harvey whistling up to some broad in the stands between innings so they can sneak a quickie in the clubhouse. Wouldn’t be a total surprise if Doc & Daryl Eiffel Towered a bitch in the clubhouse before, during, or even after a game. I’m sure between them two Keith, and Lenny Dykstra, they could’ve turned Shea Stadium into a fucking Brothel.

In mean there was no way of denying it, Daryl was the dog of all dogs. Whether it was the insurmountable amount of drugs, arrests, and women or just his flat out actions, Straw was always the center of attention and it usually wasn’t good. Just imagine what this guy did the night the Mets won the World Series. You can bet your bottom dollar that he hit the slopes as hard as he’s ever hit them. I can just picture him shirtless, covered in champagne, railing lines off some prostitues ass.


Those ’86 Mets could’ve gotten away with murder and there isn’t a doubt in my mind they actually did a time or two. To be honest I really missed out on being able to watch the ’86 Mets do what they did. It’s about time ESPN decided to document this team (30 for 30: Doc & Daryl airs tonight at 9:00) considering all that surrounded them. What that group of guys did on and off the field will forever live in infamy, and today we give thanks to the men who made up the greatest team baseball has ever seen.


GoFundMe to Buyout De Aza’s Contract

So your boys started a GoFundMe page to help the stingy, frugal Mets buyout Alejandro De Aza’s contract. You’re Goddamn right we did. And to be completely honest, I’m a little embarrassed and shocked at the NYM faithful that it took this long to do so. This guy is human trash and he’s killing this team. If you want the full true feelings, read Jamz’s blog on this dog or go read our write up on the GoFundMe page.
If you’re just as cheap at the Wilpons, you can do your part by tweeting the link at a few big names. I’ve made a list.
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Now I’m not so naive to think that cutting De Aza will change everything, but it’s a pretty damn good way to start. You’ve got this lazy asshole, suckin’ all the charisma out of the locker room like a vacuum, taking up space, taking strikes down the dick. It can’t happen. We’ve got our future sitting in the minors in Conforto, while this guy is up here not running out balls to first. I am aware that Conforto needs some time down there to refine his craft because he was literally hurled into the MLB in a pretty irresponsible way and he began to struggle, largely in part to our own Shotgun writer Soup purchasing his jersey. But even at his worst, De Aza couldn’t shine his cleats.

Don’t try to give me the bullshit that the Mets had to get De Aza because when they didn’t think they were resigning YO that they needed a lefty to platoon with Lagares. There were extremely intelligent and handsome fans out there who were laying out perfectly fine options all the way back in November.

Another option, an option $5,176,000 cheaper was Captain KIRK. Not a huge fan favorite but he had his supporters and he certainly wasn’t hated as much as to warrant a GoFundMe page to be started in his name to get him kicked off the team and hopefully out of the state.

Let me just break this down for you.
Kirk:
OBP: .326/SLUG: .367/Hits: 41/RBIs: 26/Runs: 22/Walks:34/SB:7/Doubles:14/HRs:5/BA: .209
De Aza:
OBP: .252/SLUG: .269/Hits: 19/RBIs: 6/ Runs: 7/ Walks: 10/SB: 2/Doubles: 4/HRs: 2/BA: .176

So we are paying a guy $5 million plus to do worse than a guy we already had who is getting paid $500,000. Blasphemous.

Whatever, what’s done is done but are you going to invest or not? Just think of the kind of money a socialist jew rallied up with small donations. We can do this people.

And just to be clear, Bernie Sanders made $222,642,125 in small donations.
By comparison, we’re not asking for a lot here people. Do your part, don’t be cocky.

The Definitive All-Met Killer Team

 

So after watching Daniel Murphy kill the Mets again last night to the tune of another homer and 3 more RBI’s, I was thinking back to all the other guys that have killed the Mets in the past. Daniel Murphy is just the most recent of many players that have absolutely murdered the Mets over their careers and it only took a half a season for him to join the club. I mean we all knew the second he signed with Washington, he was gonna destroy the Mets everytime he played them but I don’t think anyone really expected it to be this bad this fast. So let’s go ahead and take a look at the starting lineup for the All-Met Killer Team and see where Daniel Murphy fits in.

Catcher: Yadier Molina

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Honestly don’t know if he’s been any good against the Mets for his career. I know he crushed my dreams in game 7 of the 2006 NLCS though with the game winning homerun so that earns you a spot on the squad.

1st Base: Daniel Murphy

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The reason I’m even thinking about all these guys. Murphy has 6 homeruns against the Mets this season before the all star break. He had 5 homeruns all of last year against every team before last years all star game. Safe to say he’ll be the reason I wanna kill myself in the upcoming years.

2nd Base: Chase Utley

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Look at that fucking smirk. Fuck Chase Utely. The guy managed to make Reuben Tejada likeable somehow. That’s how much Mets fans hate Chase Utley. I repeat, Fuck Chase Utley.

SS: Jimmy Rollins

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Jimmy Rollins basically makes this team for what he did to my poor heart in 2007 alone. This asshole called the Phillies the “team to beat” in the NL East while they were down like 12 games and God dammit apparently he was right cuz he brought the Phillies all the way back , won the division and he won the NL MVP in the process.

3B: Chipper Jones

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49 homers against the Mets. 14 straight NL East Titles. Named his daughter “Shea.” I think that’s all that needs to be said.

OF: Pat Burrell

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Pat Fucking Burrell. The most average Left Fielder you could find in the MLB. Until he played the Mets. Then the guy morphed into some sort of baseball God. 42 out of his 292 homeruns were against the Mets. I’m convinced the man was only put on this Earth to rip out the hearts of Mets fans and stomp the life out of them.

OF: Jayson Werth

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Werthless. Guys made a habit out of killing the Mets during his years on both the Phillies and the Nats. He’s played in the division for the last 10 years and he just won’t go away. Another guy that I’m not really sure what his numbers look like against the Mets. I just know I see him and his stupid fucking hair and his stupid fucking beard on the team that wins the division every year and it drives me nuts.

OF: Giancarlo Stanton

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As Stanton displayed in his last series against the Mets where he hit 4 homeruns in 4 at bats, the guy has a habit of going YABO against the Mets in his young career. The guys only 26 years old and is gonna be playing for the Marlins for a looooong time so he looks poised to break the record for most homers against the Mets.

SP: Greg Maddux

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One of the guys that absolutely owned the Mets in the early 90’s on the way to the Braves winning 14 straight division titles. The guy has 35 wins against the Mets which is absolutely absurd for a guy who looks like such a god damn square.

Relief Pitcher: Aaron Heilman

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This fucking guy. Probably my least favorite Met of all time. In my mind I think he blew the lead every time he entered the game as a Met. I know that’s probably not true but it’s gotta be close. Thanks for costing us a World Series in ’06 you cocksucker. Gotta be more of a met killer than the rest of the team combined.

Big Sexy to the All Star Game!

CBSsports – Giants ace Madison Bumgarner is an All-Star this season and deservedly so. He’s also pitching on Sunday, making him ineligible to pitch in the Midsummer Classic on Tuesday. Thus, the NL gets a replacement and that replacement will be Mets starter Bartolo Colon.
Colon, 43, is pitching in his 19th big-league season and this marks the fourth All-Star trip for the former Cy Young winner.
This season, Colon is 7-4 with a 3.28 ERA, 1.22 WHIP and 65 strikeouts in 98 2/3 innings. He re-signed with the Mets this past offseason on a one-year, $7.25 million deal and has been invaluable, especially in light of Matt Harvey’s woes.
Colon is the oldest All-Star this season. The youngest, Corey Seager, was four years old when Colon made his first All-Star Game.

 

Good for Big Baby Bart, good for Terry, good for baseball. This is a huge power move. Anything this guy does on a ball field is electric, as evident below.

I’m a 20 year old college baseball player and there is a 0.0% chance I would be able to pull off a work of art like that. That’s right, a 43 year old, morbidly obese man would absolutely house me in an athletic competition of any kind, and there is no shame in it.

Great move by baseball here. In a time where Rob Manfred is actively trying to ruin the game (to be blogged about later), this is something that can entertain fans of all kinds. Traditional old timer fans, new young fans, casual fans, saber-metric geeks, all can rally around seeing Bartolo Colon do anything on a sports field of any kind. And don’t be surprised to see them pull put this move for the Home Run Derby either, replacing a nerd like Will Myers or Adam Duvall. Bartolo means ratings. If another sport wants to adapt this marketing model, please do so. Close your eyes and picture Bartolo Colon draining 3’s or doing a dunk of any sort. I rest my case.