GoFundMe to Buyout De Aza’s Contract

So your boys started a GoFundMe page to help the stingy, frugal Mets buyout Alejandro De Aza’s contract. You’re Goddamn right we did. And to be completely honest, I’m a little embarrassed and shocked at the NYM faithful that it took this long to do so. This guy is human trash and he’s killing this team. If you want the full true feelings, read Jamz’s blog on this dog or go read our write up on the GoFundMe page.
If you’re just as cheap at the Wilpons, you can do your part by tweeting the link at a few big names. I’ve made a list.
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Now I’m not so naive to think that cutting De Aza will change everything, but it’s a pretty damn good way to start. You’ve got this lazy asshole, suckin’ all the charisma out of the locker room like a vacuum, taking up space, taking strikes down the dick. It can’t happen. We’ve got our future sitting in the minors in Conforto, while this guy is up here not running out balls to first. I am aware that Conforto needs some time down there to refine his craft because he was literally hurled into the MLB in a pretty irresponsible way and he began to struggle, largely in part to our own Shotgun writer Soup purchasing his jersey. But even at his worst, De Aza couldn’t shine his cleats.

Don’t try to give me the bullshit that the Mets had to get De Aza because when they didn’t think they were resigning YO that they needed a lefty to platoon with Lagares. There were extremely intelligent and handsome fans out there who were laying out perfectly fine options all the way back in November.

Another option, an option $5,176,000 cheaper was Captain KIRK. Not a huge fan favorite but he had his supporters and he certainly wasn’t hated as much as to warrant a GoFundMe page to be started in his name to get him kicked off the team and hopefully out of the state.

Let me just break this down for you.
Kirk:
OBP: .326/SLUG: .367/Hits: 41/RBIs: 26/Runs: 22/Walks:34/SB:7/Doubles:14/HRs:5/BA: .209
De Aza:
OBP: .252/SLUG: .269/Hits: 19/RBIs: 6/ Runs: 7/ Walks: 10/SB: 2/Doubles: 4/HRs: 2/BA: .176

So we are paying a guy $5 million plus to do worse than a guy we already had who is getting paid $500,000. Blasphemous.

Whatever, what’s done is done but are you going to invest or not? Just think of the kind of money a socialist jew rallied up with small donations. We can do this people.

And just to be clear, Bernie Sanders made $222,642,125 in small donations.
By comparison, we’re not asking for a lot here people. Do your part, don’t be cocky.

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