UFC 200 Tonight

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Like Wrestlemania but not, because they can’t really make the results sick if they wanted to. The road to 200 hasn’t been easy. I’m honestly the last guy who should be talking about UFC but since Brock is fighting and I got a free shirt from a UFC gym handing them out at a BWW, I figure I’ll take a stab at it.

So this was supposed to be one epic event. Conor McGregor, Ronda Rousey, Jon Jones, etc. but everything got fucked up. McGregor weirdly decided one day that he was retiring, then not retiring and for some reason this led to Dana taking him off the card for 200. Ronda would be heading this shit but she got her head kicked off and nobodies heard from her since. And Jones had so much fun during his last suspension he decided he would go for it one more time. I’ll hand it to them, replacing Jones with Silva isn’t the worst move. Wouldn’t complain seeing Silva wrap his shin bone around Cormier’s head.

For the women, Tate beat Holm, who beat Ronda, but Ronda beat Tate twice, so we should probably just give Ronda the belt back? Either way that should be a fine fight I suppose.

Travis Browne Vs. Cain Velasquez. Heard Cain’s name for years so he must be good. Two huge dudes slugging it out, fine.

Scarface returns after McGregor embarrassed the shit out of him. You train for months for this fight. Countless hours in the gym, training every day, cutting weight, these guys go through pure hell. This guy Aldo goes through all this shit to walk over to the middle of the octagon and take one shot in the mush and goes down like a sack of potatoes. Then has the balls to take the next 5 shows off. Fuck you, get your ass back out there. He should’ve been forced to have another fight directly after that one.

But the real reason I’m here, The Beast Incarnate, BROCK LESNAR. Ol’ Tricky Dick Vince has got to have something up his sleeve here. There is absolutely no shot that Vincent Kennedy McMahon allows his prize possession, the man who was allowed to beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania and not lose since, to go out there and risk losing it all. All credibility goes out the window with a loss here. Vince is literally betting the company. The man built to be an unstoppable force in WWE, not allowing anybody to get a lick of offense in on him, the only thing bringing an ounce of legitimacy to the WWE cannot walk into a real sport and get his ass handed to him. Personally I believe Brock is a monster who is going to knock the carbohydrates out of this big fat guy. But all I’m saying is don’t be surprised to see in the middle of the 3rd round, when it looks like Brock is closing in on a victory, Randy Orton hop the cage and deliver an RKO out of nowhere setting up their hyped match for SummerSlam.

Remember, Vince always wins.

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