Sunday in San Diego at Petco Park, MLB All Star (almost the) Weekend kicks off with The Futures Game where a lot of the future talent of the MLB will take the field and give fans a taste of what they might bring to their respective teams in a few seasons. It’s a game that provides an opportunity for youngsters to make a name for themselves on a bigger stage and show that they’re ready to make an impact in the big leagues. This couldn’t be more true for one man in particular, however he’s playing in a different game tomorrow night. The 2016 Celebrity All Star Game will be played immediately following the Futures Game and that game has must watch written all over it for one reason: Vladimir Guerrero.
Vlad Guerrero is absolutely electric everytime he steps onto a baseball field. Growing up getting to watch this guy take hacks at anything remotely close to home plate was an absolute joy. The guy would swing at pitch outs because that’s how much he loved mashing baseballs. Now in 2016, at the young age of 41, Vlad will take the field at a major league park again and if Big Sexy has shown us anything this year it’s that age is just a number. Is he playing softball against a bunch of old guys and celebrities that don’t even know how to put a baseball glove on? Sure. But I know damn well Vlad is gonna make the most out of every swing he gets tomorrow night. I would be willing to bet my left eye that the guy mashes a homerun everytime he steps in the batters box. 6-6 with 6 home runs and the All Star Game MVP seems like the lock of the century. And guess what. There’s nothing like a breakout performance in a softball game on national TV to get the comeback tour started. I hope Vlad still has his agent available from back in the day because I can guarantee his phone is gonna be ringing all day long Monday with teams begging for him to bat cleanup. I hope Jennie Finch’s neck (pretty sure she’s been the pitcher for this thing for like 15 years) is in good shape because she’s gonna be turning around and watching balls fly off the planet everytime Vlad gets a swing in. Adios beisbol.
P.S. Remember that rumor that went around in the early 2000’s that said Vlad didn’t need batting gloves cuz he peed on his hands before every game. You’re a lying son of a bitch if you tell me you’ve never thought about trying that.