Its About Damn Time: The Chicago Cubs Are World Series Champions

On the morning of November 3rd, 2016, at approximately 12:45AM, Kris Bryant (with a smile on his face) fielded a slow roller on the infield grass and threw it to 1B Anthony Rizzo who pocketed the ball in his glass case of emotions to seal the deal on the Cubs first World Series Championship in over a century (108 years).

It really is hard to even fathom how long its been since we’ve seen the Cubbies on top of the baseball world. In 1908, Mark Twain and Thomas Edison were still alive & kicking. The NBA, Mr. Potato Head, and Diet Soda didn’t even exist. To see a team and a fan base who has endured some of the most heart wrenching & gut churning moments in baseball finally come out on top, I think baseball fans across the nation except those shit dicks in St. Louis can agree it’s a happy sight to see. 

The Billy Goat curse has been broken. The beheading of Steve Bartman can finally be forgotten about. The book of curses that surround the Cubbies is finally closed. It’s been exactly 0 years since the Cubs have won a World Series Championship. Somehwhere up in heaven, Harry Caray is biting into a green apple with his big ol’ specs on smiling down at Wrigleyville. 


Rookie of the Year Henry Rowengartner is no longer the fictional prospect Cubs fans have been waiting for, although he could’ve shape shifted into Aroldis Chapman (hot take). 

It’s a great time to be alive if your a baseball fan, but an even better time if you’re a Cubs fan. This is it what makes the game of baseball so romantic. All the drama, the storylines everything. It is safe to say the 2016 World Series will go down as one of the most memorable games in history. Fuck you Rob Manfred.

Why Thursday Night Football Needs to Go

This past Thursday the New York Jets paid Bills Mafia of Buffalo a visit for what was the first Thursday Night Football game of the year, as well as the introduction to the “new and improved” 2016 Color Rush Uniforms

The Jets & Bills played a real barn burner back and forth affair, which ended in a 37-31 victory in favor of Fitzmagic’s Jets. The real story here is why does the NFL still think Thursday Night Football is a good idea. Once a week football fans have no choice but to melt into their couch with a bag of UTZ and a beer and watch a classic Jaguars V Titans game that no one cares about but has no choice but to watch. Why? Because it’s Football.

To make matters worse the NFL decided to make color blinded people feel even shittier about themselves last year by introducing color rush uniforms and God almighty were they ugly… 


It just made Thursday Night Football even more of an eyesore. The Jags look like they decided to take the pigment out of shit from a baby diaper and use it as their uniform.

As for 2016, the Color Rush uniforms improved (barely) but the games will still absolutely suck. Fuck you Goodell.

Here are the 2016 Color Rush Uniforms:

Sasha Vujacic Should Be Removed from America Permanently. 


Why Phil… Why must you bring back this slouch and put shame to the Knicks once again. You could’ve spent that money on two tons of dog shit because that’s what Sasha Vujacic is equivalent to. My hatred for him is neck and neck with that slapdick De Aza.

https://shotgunsports.wordpress.com/2016/07/09/is-alejandro-de-aza-the-worst-personplayer-of-all-time/ 

Vujacic should be shipped back to his worthless homeland of Slovenia to do absolutely anything other than play basketball. This guy shouldn’t be allowed to step foot on hardwood floors again, let alone the prestigious court of Madison Square Garden. I know he will be making the league minimum, and I know we could use a guard, but give me a break for crying out loud this guy is on every Knicks fans shitlist. If there was one player in the entire league that brings nothing positive to the table it’s Sasha Vujacic. No matter which way you cut it, there just isn’t a single good thing about this bozo.

Vujacic posted an abysmal 4.9 PTS per game, to go along with a 1.4 assists per game last season. It’s not even like this guy is one of those likeable shitty players that everyone loves to see go in the game in the final 15 seconds and hit a pointless 3. He’s the exact opposite… I want this guy locked in a broom closet as far away from a basketball court as possible. He shouldn’t be allowed to own anything that pertains to the sport. Vujacic, do New York and more importantly America and leave.

Daryl Strawberry Admits to Getting Laid in Between Innings

Bleacher Report: Former MLB outfielder Darryl Strawberry stated Thursday he used to pick women out of the crowd and have sex with them in the clubhouse in between innings.

“Between innings. It worked out well, just how crazy it was,” Strawberry said. “It kind of worked out that way. You point [a woman] out and tell the kid [to go get her].”

Strawberry also discussed “drinking in the clubhouse and smoking cigarettes in the dugout,” according to Yahoo Sports.

As if Daryl wasn’t already a complete stud. You know you’re the man when you can plow out a fan in the clubhouse in between innings on the regular. I really wonder how this was even remotely possible. Just imagine Cespedes or Harvey whistling up to some broad in the stands between innings so they can sneak a quickie in the clubhouse. Wouldn’t be a total surprise if Doc & Daryl Eiffel Towered a bitch in the clubhouse before, during, or even after a game. I’m sure between them two Keith, and Lenny Dykstra, they could’ve turned Shea Stadium into a fucking Brothel.

In mean there was no way of denying it, Daryl was the dog of all dogs. Whether it was the insurmountable amount of drugs, arrests, and women or just his flat out actions, Straw was always the center of attention and it usually wasn’t good. Just imagine what this guy did the night the Mets won the World Series. You can bet your bottom dollar that he hit the slopes as hard as he’s ever hit them. I can just picture him shirtless, covered in champagne, railing lines off some prostitues ass.


Those ’86 Mets could’ve gotten away with murder and there isn’t a doubt in my mind they actually did a time or two. To be honest I really missed out on being able to watch the ’86 Mets do what they did. It’s about time ESPN decided to document this team (30 for 30: Doc & Daryl airs tonight at 9:00) considering all that surrounded them. What that group of guys did on and off the field will forever live in infamy, and today we give thanks to the men who made up the greatest team baseball has ever seen.


The worst [sports] day of the year.

The day is here. The day after the MLB All-Star game. A day with absolutely no professional sports in action. Also known as the day ESPN decided to make up a fucking award show and make it seem like the award matters.

There are few things to do today but don’t worry, Ya Boy PC is here with some tips to get through this day:

1. For once in the summer do something productive that your body will thank you for. Take some melatonin around 8 or 9. Get in bed turn on ESPN and you’ll be asleep soon enough. Completely sleep through this God-forsaken night. Trust me this is your best bet.

2. Watch the ESPYs and be a sheep to the mother-ship and all their useless content.espy-tweets-9

3. Mindlessly binge-watch Netflix, maybe invite a friend over…

4. Pay attention to your girlfriend for once this year… Only one time this year you can be together and not have to worry about what the Mets and Alejandro de Aza are doing (not missing much).

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5. Catch up on some Nick@Nite reruns of Full House and Friends.

and last

Stanton and His Forearms steal show & Crown at HR Derby

ESPN- His mom calls him Cruz. Teammates call him Bigfoot. Most baseball fans know him as Mike Stanton, precocious slugger for the Miami Marlins, but his first name is actually Giancarlo.

“The man of a million names,” Stanton said.

Cruz, Mike, Giancarlo, or Bigfoot. You may call him whatever the fuck you want to call him, just know this guy mashes baseballs like no one has ever done before. Stanton sent YABO’s into orbit last night. Chris Berman was running out of corny HR calls after “Bigfoot” blasted 61 Dingers. It took Roger Maris an entire season to crank 61. Giancarlo crushed Bobby Abreu’s total HR record in the Derby by TWENTY (!!!) count ’em 20 YABO’s.


I mean you can’t tell me this guy wasn’t chiseled to perfection by the baseball Gods. Those forearms are thicker than yesterday’s oatmeal. 50 sets of 50 forearm curls for Giancarlo BABY WOW! You cut this guy’s pecs open and find 2 porterhouse steaks. If Miami didn’t have Stanton they would literally be the most useless group of people ever assembled. He made himself worth every bit of that lucrative 13 year, $325 million dollar contract he signed due to the fact that he’s a human homerun machine. It was like swing after swing you just knew the ball was going to come close to crushing the scoreboard, or hit the 3rd deck of Petco Park tonight. He was a man amongst boys last night and it’s hard to argue that this guys is hands down the best slugger baseball has seen since the Steroid Era with Bonds, McGwire, and Sosa. The only difference is Stanton is he’s doing it juice free (As far as we know). 

http://youtu.be/p3OJGfkv9y4

The only thing that would’ve made tonight better is seeing Stanton’s hitting coach Barry Bonds apart of the show. I bet you put a bat in his hands and he can still take a one way trip to souvenir city a dozen or so times. Props to Manfred (Said no one ever) for initiating this time limit instead of the ol’ 10 out rule. It makes the Derby much less painful to watch.


Baseball would be doing a disservice if the didn’t put Cespedes and Stanton in a Derby together. You want to talk about YABO Central? Those guys would kill people with baseballs. Not a single fan, nor NARP outfielder would be safe. For now. Stanton’s bomb-dropping performance will do until next year. Go shit in a hat Manfred.

Mind boggling. 27,187 feet of straight YABO.

Timmy D Calling it Quits

 

ESPN-After five NBA titles, two NBA MVP awards, 15 All-­Star appearances and a spot on many lists as the greatest power forward of all time, San Antonio Spurs star Tim Duncan is calling it a career. Duncan, who turned 40 in April, announced Monday that he is retiring from the NBA after 19 seasons, all with San Antonio.

So this is the end of the road for old Timmy D. One of the greatest basketball players of our generation. Unbelievable that the guy has basically been on the Spurs for as long as I’ve been alive. I was never a big fan of the Spurs growing up but you have to respect the job Tim Duncan has done throughout his career. The guy has managed to contribute and win games from his first season all the way to his last. Even in his last year where it sometimes looked like he could barely run, he averaged 8 and 7 and was still the heart of the San Antonio defense that had one of the better seasons of all time. The guy was quietly one of the best players year in and year out and has to go down as the best power forward of all time. Yeah he might’ve lost a step or maybe 7 in his last year as anybody with a pair of functioning eyeballs saw during the playoff series against the Thunder. But guess what. The man didn’t go down without a fight. Guy played the entire 4th quarter of his final game with the 40 year old Afro wearing Andre Miller by his side and almost helped force a game 7 scoring 19 points. He unfortunately came up short though and  I think I can remember the exact moment where he decided he was retiring too.image.jpeg

Or maybe it was just KD joining the Warriors.

But you know what the best part about Timmy D was. In a sports world where players have farewell seasons and make their retirement drag on for a full year so everyone can talk about how great they were and how much they changed the game (Kobe), Tim Duncan retired like you imagined Tim Duncan would. Probably sitting poolside in Texas on some random day in July probably sitting in one of his famous, ridiculous and oversized Timmy D button down shirts. I bet he banked in a pool basketball shot from the elbow after he made the call too.

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